EXT. a normal suburban home
JASON and CARRIE, a young 20something couple, are sleeping peacefully in the bed. Jason is wearing the stock pajamas while Carrie wears a slinky nightgown from the previous night. Jason is holding his right arm over Carrie's head. Suddenly, the quiet is disturbed when Jason's tremendously loud alarm goes off.
Carrie
Jason, for just one day can that stupid thing not be nearly as loud?
Jason groggily gets up.
Jason
Honey, you know that I need a loud alarm or else I'd never be able to wake up.
CARRIE
There's not a need to wake up the next door neighbors in the process!
JASON
Fine, fine, I'll let it simmer for about five more minutes.
Jason hits the snooze on the alarm.
JASON
You remember the first night we slept in this bed together? You thought it'd be weird and awkward but then we slept like babies. And then that morning came and we never wanted to wake up. We just wanted to lay there.
Carrie groggily responds.
CARRIE
Sure, sure, Jason.
JASON
It was just so...I don't know. It was tender and sweet. We cuddled and it didn't matter how bad our breath stunk, because we were just there, just in love.
CARRIE
Okay, is there a specific reason for these sudden love memories this early in the morning?
JASON
Well, I was just thinking about you, and thinking about the past and the future. I was pondering how to better our lives. I don't think I'm doing so bad for us, but I want to get that huge promotion. I want to make our lives comfortable.
Carrie turns her head towards the pillow again, as if to motion that she wants to go back to sleep.
CARRIE
That's nice, Jason, but let me get a little bit of sleep before the day starts.
JASON
Why aren't you in the least bit excited about this?
Carrie seems a bit stressed by this and turns her head towards Jason.
CARRIE
Because it's 6 AM, Jason! Goodness.
JASON
Didn't you fall asleep at 7:30? Moreover, didn't WE fall asleep at 7:30?
CARRIE
Yes, that doesn't mean, however, that I'm still not tired!
JASON
Carrie, you know that usually you are awake long before I am. Not only that, whenever I make what you would call an "epiphany," usually you are in a more joyous mood than "That's alright, honey, go back to bed."
CARRIE
Fine, fine, I'm getting up.
Carrie huffs up out of the bed and into the bathroom to brush her teeth. Jason searches through the closet, looking for clothing to wear to work.
JASON
Carrie, which tie should I wear?
Carrie takes her toothbrush out of her mouth.
CARRIE
Go with the black.
JASON
Why is that? Today I'm really gunning for that big promotion. I really want to get out of tech support and fast and surely I need a brighter color than the black?
Carrie spits into the sink and then speaks.
CARRIE
Let me give you a bold and wholly unorthodox prediction...you're not getting the promotion. You're too old and too decrepit for who they want in that position.
JASON
Honey! What is wrong with you?
CARRIE
Look, if you call me "honey" just one more time, I might just have to box you in the jaw. Now dear, there is nothing wrong with being tech support. Tech support pays the bills and affords a nice middle-class lifestyle. Sometimes, that's the best the American dream gets.
JASON
But I want more to it, Carrie. Oh, imagine a beach over in the California sunset!
CARRIE
Sweetie, we live in New Jersey. That's probably the farthest place from California that you can find on a U.S. map.
JASON
And I'm not allowed to dream?
Carrie huffs and stands with her arms in a crossbowed position.
CARRIE
I'm fine with your dreaming, but not when it's distracting you from your reality. I think it's ridiculous that suddenly because you think you're gonna get promoted, that you dream and dream constantly about it!
Jason shrugs as he heads to the kitchen, searching through the numerous piles of cereal boxes. He finds one and pours the cereal and the milk and sits down.
Carrie walks into the kitchen and goes through the refrigerator to find the milk. She then takes out the bowl and then gets the cereal. She pours the milk in first, and then begins pouring the cereal as Jason talks.
JASON
That's kind of an odd way to be pouring the cereal, Carrie. Is there something wrong?
Carrie still holds the cereal, not noticing the cereal overflowing the bowl.
CARRIE
You know what I think is wrong? You don't seem to have any hurry to get up on the ladder. You know why you "dream"? It's because you don't do. Look, I was lying that the whole...uhh...focus of you not getting that promotion was age. If you came in with that great positive attitude, just maybe once your boss will see the talent. It's completely distracting you from that real thing. You want the beach over the California sunset? Get it yourself. Stop prancing and dancing around the fact that you seem to think you can't do it. I don't mean to turn into Sam Jackson this early in the morning.
Carrie still doesn't notice the overflowing cereal. Jason, though, catches sight of it quickly.
JASON
Honey, you're pouring the cereal everywhere!
CARRIE
Stop calling me honey!
Carrie then catches sight of what she does and drops the box. The cereal goes everywhere.
CARRIE
Oh, just great. Another lovely mess to clean up again from the floor!
JASON
Well, I hear what you say, but if you realize this so much, why did it take you--how long we've been married--five years to go into your biggest problem with me?
Carrie stands, almost as if frozen, thinking about her next action.
CARRIE
Because after last night, I never felt more...alive.
JASON
Wait, what happened last night?
CARRIE
The experience of a lifetime. You've gotta try it. So get this, I sneak out of...out of this house. Oh, it was a heck of a rush. So now, I drive away, but I've gotta keep the headlights off, you know to not wake...uhh...you up. So I drive down to the Club 6, which I'm sure you are aware is the hottest club on this side of town, and I fell for this guy, ha ha! Found out he was a gardener, very tan, strong abs. And I went back to his house and umm...well, you know what happened after that. Jason, I like you, I really do, but you've never felt the sensation of a lifetime when you get away from the house just once in the past five years.
Jason understandably looks very confused and stares dog-eyed at Carrie's face.
JASON
So what are you telling me? That you cheated on me and loved it? My God, are you insane? Where is the woman I met and loved?
Carrie lets out a slight grin. It's a barely noticeable change, but significant enough to incite a change in tone.
CARRIE
Oh, she's unleashed that side you've never seen. You know, Jason, we all have that dark secret that when it comes out, everyone seems stunned. But what's so stunning about it? Humanity has the tendency to do what they want to achieve their happiness, no matter how destroying it is. I was just having a good time. And I gotta tell you the truth, out of all the pre-work fights and all the steadfast whining we both have done over the years, for once the before work conversation isn't boring.
JASON
So this is all just a game with you? I trusted you for five years to suddenly have it all go to waste and for me to not truly know the person that you are?
CARRIE
Because after five years, I can reveal that you did it. You really did it. You know what we talked about last night? Shoes. You were whining to me about the soles of your shoes. I'm sorry if I don't get that warm happy feeling when you detail to me that the copier at work was out of paper and how "terrible" it made you feel. God, five years ago, you weren't nearly this suburban. Five years ago, you drove to the Texas state line just to dodge some New Mexico cops. Where is that man of danger to me now? He's working the most boring job in the world and I am the most boring housewife in the world.
Jason quickly rises from his chair.
Jason
And you know what, people grow up. We learn to adapt to that suburban thing because it's the best thing for all of us. You know where I'd be if I kept running from the law? In jail, that's where!
CARRIE
Wow, I'm impressed, Jason. You finally said something that made you sound like something more than an emotionless dreck for once! I was getting bored with your tie talk and your "dreams". I wanted to realize what exactly I got into this marriage for and we're finally talking about something, I don't know, exciting for a change!
JASON
Carrie, this is utterly ridiculous! You have such amazing timing on this being that I still need to get dressed for work, by the way! You know what, we are discussing this matter this evening, but since one of us has a job, I'll be heading to it.
CARRIE
Just admit it, Jason. You don't have the cajones to kick me out. You sought me out of your silly little loneliness. That's probably why you sought out running from the law during your teen years, too. It gave you that sense of control, the sense of rush you didn't have. And as much as you'd hate to admit it, you're just mad that I revealed my secrets to you first.
Jason looks perplexed as he walks to the bedroom. Carrie is trailing behind him.
JASON
What secrets are you talking about? Look, I'm getting dressed, alright!
CARRIE
Oh, you mean that little affair from three years back never happened?
Jason stands still, with a shocked look on his face.
JASON
What affair?
Carrie searches through a drawer's file cabinet. Carrie takes out a note of printed paper.
CARRIE
See if you remember any of this lovely e-mail then. ", I have been missing your touch for days. I have been in a 'dead end' relationship for the past four and a half years as well. My husband never kisses me like he used to, not like you did. It was truly passionate and I never felt so alive. Like I had met the most dangerous man in the world."
Jason runs swiftly to Carrie.
JASON
Uhm...
CARRIE
Ah, so you explain now. Who's the cheater now? You know, I found this about two weeks back and I waited for that perfect night. Well, last night was just the most glorious time to do it. I mean, it's the perfect revenge, right? Cheat on those who cheat on you? I take it you didn't expect it, did you? You didn't expect the tables to be turned. Don't bite the hand that feeds you sweetie, you just might lose the food.
JASON
Carrie, I didn't get an e-mail with any of that babble entered into that white page probably ever, and certainly not in the past six months. I don't think that e-mail is the slightest bit real.
Carrie raises her arms in anger.
CARRIE
IT HAS TO BE YOU! Who else could send that to YOUR e-mail account?
JASON
Carrie, the internet does have spammers, you know.
CARRIE
And knows that you're married in a dead end relationship for the past four and a half years?
JASON
Well, Harry and Laura next door have been married for four and a half years.
CARRIE
Ridiculous! Ridiculous! Ridiculous! Don't even play that game with me! Don't lie to me, Jason, just admit that you don't like it when someone admits the truth, when someone manages to actually one-up you on something. Admit for once that you may just be the lying loser I was always scared you'd become!
JASON
Lying loser? You think one thing wrong about me and suddenly I'm a lying loser? Who is the woman that psychotically overreacted and went off with another guy the instance she thought that her husband was cheating? Whether you believe me or not, you've got to admit that you did as much wrong doing in this.
CARRIE
Aha! So you do admit it!
JASON
I did not admit a thing!
CARRIE
You mentioned wrong doing.
JASON
That doesn't mean I did anything!
CARRIE
Alright, ya jerk. Keep on wandering that road. Hope she treats ya better on your way to the curb, Jason.
JASON
This is my house, Carrie.
CARRIE
Not when the courts get through with it.
JASON
The courts!? What are you, so completely insane and determined to be right that the courts have to be involved?
CARRIE
Well, we're not exactly a strong couple at the moment. The honeymoon's over, Jason. And the marriage.
JASON
Okay, if this session of "Psychotic Overreaction" is over, I'll be heading off to work now.
CARRIE
But Jason, you're not even dressed!
JASON
I think I'll change in the McDonald's bathroom today. Just a bit more attractive environment to change at. And yes, I am letting you stay in this house, but don't push it. We're still a couple until the papers say its final. Don't lock me out of here when I come back this evening. Goodbye, Carrie.
Carrie waits for Jason to walk away, and quickly retrieves the letter, ripping it into shambles onto the floor.
